Hey hip new ballet instructor: Stairway to Heaven for five year-olds – Really?

I am definitely a girly mom, I have two very girly daughters that I threw into ballet classes starting at age 3. Anyone who writes the monthly check to pay for two kids to take dance classes quickly realizes that it is an investment.  My monthly obligation is comparable to a car payment, a payment on a really nice car. So as a parent, I have certain expectations.

On Saturday I spent all day  at recital practice for my two daughters’ first big recital with their new dance company.  It was a long day, kids got up early to organize their costumes, gel back their hair in tight pony tails, then applied an abundance of “recital” make up.  Off we went  for a full day of lovely performances, sitting with other moms, tending to our daughters and making sure their costumes and hair were perfect. Encouraging them to smile and do their best.

Anyone that has ever been to one of these knows that the true stars of the show are the “little ones.” Fluffy tutus, hair in ringlets —absolutely adorable kiddos who don’t have a clue about what comes next in their dance routine, but it doesn’t matter.  These routines are carefully planned to steal the show. Their parents and grandparents are armed with video cameras and are going to catch every second of their little princesses . Their first big performance on stage.  The parents are gushing, the kids feel like stars, a memory is made that will be treasured forever. That’s what we pay for!

We had watched a half dozen of these acts interspersed throughout the afternoon, little princesses dancing to Wish Upon a Star, Be our Guest, Tutti Fruitti, Waiting for my Prince.  The adorable meter is on full tilt.

And then it happened.  The ballet instructor walked onto the stage followed by four beautiful little angels in sky blue tutus, flowers in their hair, flowers on their skirts. Cherubs. They were beautiful!  “Miss ______’s Beginning Ballet class will be performing today to Stairway to Heaven.”

The slow piano intro started. The cherubs begin to slowly do their tendus. Not a smile on single one of their angelic faces. The pace is painful.

Are you kidding me? Led  Zeppelin? These 5 year-olds are performing in their first recital to Stairway to Heaven?

For anyone that grew up in the 70s, Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven, conjures up images of a pot smoked filled Led Zeppelin concert, stoned teenagers waving their lighters in the audience, passing the bong. It personally reminds me of slow dancing at my eighth-grade graduation, girls with tunnel curls in their Gunne Sax dresses, boys in  polyester leisure suits.  Ugh! An image etched into my brain that I very much want to forget.  Stairway to Heaven, inarguably the most overplayed rock ballad in the history of mankind.  

Those poor children.  This was so wrong on so many levels. Am I the only one that thinks so?

 “Who in their right mind makes little girls dance to Stairway to Heaven?” I said under my breath not realizing I’d said it out loud. Hearing this seemed to awaken the bored mom sitting in front of me who looked up from scrolling through Facebook on her iPhone. She whipped her head around to share her disgust: “If it goes on for ten minutes, I’m going to kill myself.”

All right then!  I am not alone in my thinking.

Please don’t misunderstand my point. I don’t think it’s wrong to use other genres of music for ballet. In fact, I think it’s fabulous.  My own daughter is performing a ballet choreographed to an instrumental version of Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance.  It’s awesome.  I clearly remember my college roommate’s excitement for her first ballet class and  the “cool electric guitar” music her instructor had chosen. It was Joe Satriani’s “Surfing with the Alien. “  For 1987, it was very cutting edge. Very cool!  Perfect for a college level ballet course. Ballet that rocks, I’m all over it!

And it’s not that I’m so prim and proper that I don’t enjoy “getting the Led out.”  In fact it wasn’t too long ago when I was feeling a little edgy that I downloaded the intro to Kashmir as my cell phone ring to impress my husband. He wasn’t the only one that rocked. I could “rock” too.  I thought it was very cool for a while until my cell phone went off in the middle of a parent teacher conference. My child’s 26-year old tattooed and pierced, Boy George wanna-be male teacher —who I was not very impressed with, looked up and said, “That is so rad! I can’t believe someone your age would have that as your ring tone.”  Okay, stoner ringtone DELETE—gone before I was even out of the school parking lot.

Back to my point, parents invest their time and money into ballet classes for their kids for two basic reasons:  One, they want their daughters to learn some poise, grace and coordination. And two, they want their kids to have fun.

If they have fun in ballet while they are little, they learn to love ballet and are more likely to still love it when they are older. Their first recital performance is important. It should be fun. It should be a fabulous memory. Make the little girls feel like princesses, let them perform to their favorite ballet princess song, steal the hearts of the audience. That’s what it’s all about. That’s what the parents want, that’s what makes the kids happy.

That’s what we’re paying for.

Hey hip new ballet instructor who thinks she made a rad choice… Leave the Zeppelin on the eight track. Give the little ones and their parents a princess moment.

P.S. I just want to note that despite that I did not care for the music choice (full disclosure, it was an instrumental version, but that doesn’t change that it’s a bad song), the little angels did a fantastic job with their dancing.